The Year in Review: 2006 (pronounced 26)

YES, I'm atleast 28 days late on dropping this entry, but the important thing to remember is, its my blog and i don't give a damn what you think.

Ok, lets get to it, I decided that first i'd talk about the $6.50pf (per film) that I dropped this year. Out of all the films I saw in or out of the theatres this year (mostly at the overpriced, obviously jew ran Regal theatres) alot of them were shit, and that is being nice, lets put a selection of the films I caught into three columns shall we?

The GOOD The BAD The UGLY

Borat Science of Sleep Hostel

V for Vendetta Mission Impossible suck Xmen: Last Stand

Block Party Superman Returns TCM: The Beginning

Little Miss Sunshine The Hills Have Eyes (Remake)

Marie Antoinette

In all honesty though, what the hell was I thinking with alot of this crap? Who expected the newest Mission Impossible to be Oscar worthy? Hostel was just pure shit, yet films like Science of Sleep and the trilogy ending Xmen had garned atleast a small bit of praise. They pleased me not though, I like "artsy" films more than most, yet SOS was moreless raping my brain of any attention span I had left. With that being said though, the films under the BAD category atleast have the possibility of being in my film collection at some point or another (In fact I already have that weak attempt at a Superman film), Anything under the Ugly section should be recycled into thinner dvd disks, just thin enough to be flexible, flexible enough to be manipulated into the asses of their producers. The last thing to be said about this list is on Marie Antoinette, technically this film sucks, but kirsten dunst gets my vote for the only film she's ever been hot in.

note* I'm about to share with you a very important story. The story starts from my childhood, a smaller, more innocent Derek sits in front of the tv, eating his vanilla cookies and milk. Anticipation is inevitable as a jolly, laughing man warms youngs Derek's soul (and later inspires Derek to wear pastel sweaters in 1st grade) This man, in all his wisecracking humor, is an American hero of sorts, the epitomy of true badassery, the impressive stylishness of this man can only be rivaled with the one and only Chuck Norris. Now young Derek makes it routine to sit in front of the television everynight, watch the mannerisms, the joke delivery and overall God-like quality of the man he sees. It is with time that Derek realizes even an American hero can fall from his once glory, for this man gradually withers away into a fucking jello pudding sponsering, "Kids say the Darndest shit" hosting, shell of his former self. Baby Derek often wonders at this time "What the hell happened to Clair's sexy ass?"

Simply known as: LordCosby

You may wonder why this fable is relevant for my 2006 review right? Ah, well it was 2006 that I crossed paths with LordCosby. March, April, May maybe...it leaves me, point is, I saw the man, the myth, the legend that is Bill "The Cos'" Cosby. He came down from the heavens to speak to Eku in the beginning of 2006, and of course, I was in attendance for such a glorious event. The event was titled Bill Cosby: An evening with friends....I HAD to be there, whether the cos' knows it or not, we're like best friends! So there i was, knocking out man, woman, and nursing home resident to get a good seat, which I damn sure got! Moral of the story is, anyone can relive a peice of nostalgia, and for only 25 bucks (75 if you dont' go to Eku)

Drumroll please.........The Spencer Family Reunion.

Stunning resemblance right? My first trip to the Spencer family reunion was interesting to say the least, to summarize: I realized that along with the rest of the Spencer family there was nothing but "The Dog" in me, not to mention my feet flying above the ground when (sandwiched between Cory and Brintdog) I was angelically lifted above the ground during a heartpounding rendition of "We are the Cham...Spencers" My actual relation to the family is still quite unknown, I went from being the long lost mixed guy to Cory's new dadday', to his otha' brotha. By the ends night I was in a terrible crisis of not knowing who I was! Now I know what you're thinking, how could anyone think that we're all related right? I know, and I agree, but Tina and I still consider Cory part of the family nonetheless. Anyways, all went well and the night peaked with a fellow Spencer questioning, "You've never seen white people dance like this have you?" To which I very openly replied, "Nope...i surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre haven't...."

That....is a quick rundown of 2006...the rest is to be remembered, but i'm steadily giving steel pipe shots to my cranium to forget the rest. Until next time...you're all bitches!