I Proudly Present to you: Pluckers Wing and Bar
and in the Right Corner, sporting that ever fearless smile....

So It was this afternoon, the setting, Pluckers Bar and Grill in Davenport, Iowa. First let me give a little backstory, for the last two years i've been questioned and threatened on the topic of whether or not I had the guts (as well as the gonads) to consume SUPPOSEDLY the hottest, firiest, eye sweatingest chicken wings in the U.S. You see, my sister lives here, and in all her jackassery, she challenged me, now if you weren't aware...Dayzilla doesn't back down from a challenge, so of course I agreed to give these old dead birds a taste as soon as I made my way up to Dport....and well, after two years of spewing shit from my mouth about how I can eat anything hot, it was time to back it up.....

And so, it went as such, we made our way to the resturant all the while (with me sitting in the back) giggles where heard coming from the front. These sinister sounds where the idiotic joshs from My sister and her friend. The wonderful actor in me came alive as I slowly let a fake amount of fear shine through my eyes, just enough to give off some sort of hope of victory for her and her cronies as well as those jackasses who thought they would conquer me at Plucks. We get there and proceed to take our seats, when the rather cute little waitress (damn I should have gotten her name) came over to our table and asked what we would like my sister disctinctively replies with....

" Oh we dont' want anything, but He believes he can handle the wings you have here, you know...the fiery ones, oh and please dunk them in as much sauce as you can, it'll really make the tears flow...and they will flow, but yes..thats all we need..thank you"

I purposely gulp at this point, looking into her eyes, making her believe that i feel that i've made a huge mistake, yet in reality ol' Day knew the cat was in the peverbial bag. Between the time of the order and the actual moment where i get the wings, the waitress..again in all her hotness, comes to me with yet another challenge for me. She asks me if i'd be interested in trying to eat one order in a whopping four minutes. Well SHIT i think, one order is only 6 miniature, almost insignificant wings, of course i can down them in a mighty four minutes. I thought, why babies are born in less than four minutes and yet they dare question whether i can down six little chicks? And so, I agree with a very adamant "HELL YEEEAH" and the deal (or my fate) was set.

And so,..it began,...the clock began its slow descent to the eventual zero, and I dug in, well sorta...actually it was me feeling like I was scarfing, but in reality I was casually chewing this crap like I had all the time in the world...and then the unthinkable happened...these suckers started to get hot...and I mean HOT, so even though I had already planned to play it off like this was unbearable...it quickly became a much easier act to show!

Now, I know that I can act on the levels of Poitier, DeNiro, and Bogart....but thats even good for me....basically because that my friends, was no acting. My mouth was on fire! And with A little over a minute thirty left, i still had 2 sucks to swallow! So with my sister giggling her dumbass off and thinking i've been defeating, I reached down deep (somewhere around the ball area) and pushed my mind, and my mouth to become a weedeater and tear the last two to shreds... and with nothing but 15 seconds left before I would have lost, I hear the sweet little waitress say...

"You got it, ...you've ate them all, in 3:44 seconds, good job"

I looked down at the destroyed bones and then stared at my shocked sister with a rather greasy smile, looking and feeling very triumphant, and just to ensure that my victory will stay in the minds of myself, my sister and the Pluck people, they proceeded to stick my picture up on their wall of not so many badasses.

Oh, and the waitress asked me what I wanted written on my picture...after some thought...it was decided, a few words for all them doubters and jacks of asses out there with just a simple

"AIN'T NO THANG"